Love and Pain always together...

Usually I don't go to my main page so I didn't realize how long it was since my last post. And God, changes were big.

My last post was about me applying to job to capital city. Well, this one failed, along with some other shots, but I never really gave up. I've had a promise to fulfill after all. But you wouldn't believe how universe works sometimes as my teammates got pregnant (very fertile team, I'd say) and at the same time I was offered to move my team's work to capital city. With all bonuses like bigger salary and additional money for setting up. Great, I'm taking it.

And what happened next was the biggest surprise as my friend tsuchi8562 got a job in capital city too with the same start date as me! Not thinking too much we've found a place to live, organized a moving (with a cat!) and look at us, living now here for a month casually ;) Of course not everything is smooth, I spend a lot of time in work and that's not gonna change soon (maybe around mi-March) and cannot take any days off, not even sick leave, but after seeing my account with first salary and counting how much I'll be paid for overtime I don't whine too much.

So nobody from family left in my hometown as mother moved to Georgia with her husband and opened guest house, because why not? She's happy to have something she set up herself and working only for herself with no big boss.

One night 6 years ago, when I was coming back home drunk, I promised something. The deadline was till 30th birthday. I fulfilled that one, even though 3 months ago nobody would believe that, nothing seemed to give hope. But seeing my friend happier as she has much less to worry about regarding own life, when I know that we both may have more to look forward, that our dreams are closer - yeah, that was worth hellish 2 months with business trips, spoiling my holiday with work related mails, traveling constantly on weekends with working intensively on weekdays, packing life into card boxes and leaving what I called for over 20 years 'home', ceasing watching and reading...

One month after us!

Maybe sometimes it's better to write it down and look at the problem from stranger's perspective? Not that I HAVE a problem. More like train of thoughts and ideas and somehow it worked out as... I wish I knew.

3 months ago I was at the trip with my best friend. We had a lot of fun, seen a lot of places, met nice people. There was one guy... Well, it wasn't like big thing, we're from different cities on the very different parts of country. But after I came back, for some time I was tasting the memories and thoughts what would happen if I moved to his place. Would I find him accidentally? It's rather a big city. Or not?

The thought devoured me. Me being in the other city, with other job. Imagination went wild.

After some time it lost some colours, but damage in brain was irreparable. Friend from capital city asked me to apply to their team. "Why not?" I thought.

And here I am - after first interview, with some plans, after fight with grandmother and convincing her by my beloved mother. Preparing slowly.

And somehow, somewhere in my mind, there's this - if it weren't for that short holiday romance (wow, big word), I wouldn't be mentally prepared and past most fears of making big change.

Fate is such a funny thing.

Hello all who cares or not!
Another year passed, huh? Well, sounds not so bad after all. Who made resolutions? Who is crying over "how bad was last year"?

Well, not like I care :P Past is past after all, I only want to remember what is valuable.

So, what I managed?
1. JLPT N4 passed! With crazy trip to capital city :D But who cares, after passing it I got some energy to go further.
2. Got permanent job contract! With not so bad salary, health care and fitness plan. More, I managed to talk my manager to give me back my old position, where I did much better, with less stress and nicer co-worker. Smooth.
3. Finished 101 dramas! YAY~!

I think that would be the most important. Of course, there was some not funny things, but it's over, right?

So, what to do next?
1. Move out - preferably from country. I need some other space and here is too stuffy for me.
2. Pass JLPT N3 - told ya, I got motivated to go further.

Anything more to that and I'm gonna be really happy :D Who joins to me?

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Can I say it openly? I can love. Sometimes.

The bigger distance, the better.

Should I do something with this? Like... I don't know...


From time to time I imagine I go that country, I meet that person and...

I'm afraid to let my dreams go further.

Do you hate me now? May I hate myself for this? Will you ever read this?


And tomorrow I will wake up, go to work, try not to lost all my mind in this hectic place.


I have no idea who is more attached.

Or maybe it's my punishment.

I haven't posted anything here for a long, lomg time... Probably now I have too much time to spare ;) Nonetheless I need to write, anything is good.

Right now I'm sitting on my balcony, enjoying nice weather, parents' absence and nice Akame fic. Really, what is needed to feel happy?

I have some problems is work and it affected my health. I'm afraid to go there tomorrow... Like it would change anything. Sometimes I think that I'm the problem, because no way everybody around me have so much flaws it makes me feel bad. But, who knows? Maybe it's something between? Their flaws against mine, that would create such a mess...

Two weeks more and I should have a whole week off. Whole week without teammates. Sounds really, really good. And that tsuchi8562 will spend some of that time with me.

Maybe the fact, that I have 2 extractions planned this minth makes it less funny, but I need this, srsly, otherwise every month my lovely teeth will make a walking bunch of pain...

No more rambling today!

78. Exactly 78 dramas on the list. And I'm that close to finish another one ;) But everything in order, more or less...

My last list was made by me year ago and I don't know how to feel with 18 more than last time. I mean - it should be much more, right? I was unemployed for 3 months, I was watching like crazy. But the thing is, that after coming back from work I don't feel like watching. Strange, but real. Well, still I think it's good for me (and my Japanese). But 18 means 1,5 drama for a month and that is something ;) So not that bad.

Ok, so let's see my whole list of completed dramas:

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Lol, mój drugi post po polsku tutaj. Ale trzeba było, bo inaczej harukazepanda by mnie zagryzła za zmarnowanie takich dobrych scenek z wczorajszego japońskiego. Głównym bohatarem jak zwykle stał się Dubi, a mistrzem tekstów Kuba. Mam nadzieję, że opiszę wszystko jak należy. Zaznaczam, że we wszystkich przypadkach miałyśmy naprawdę niezły zaciesz, a w ostatnim Sensei prawie przeturlał się po podlodze ;)

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So it's the time for me to make a note about my anothe achievement! I have completed watching 60 dramas! Do you have any idea, what it means? Yes, another list ;)

But I have to tell, that some of them I watched more than once. I tried to count every time I watched all drama and when it's more than 1 season to count it as well and... Do you know that it's equal to watching 75 dramas? A lot, don't you think? And all of this in a bit more than 2 years.

Let's proceed to the list:

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So, that's for now. I watch another 6, so the amount will be bigger soon. I'm over watch-block (which means no power to decide, download and launch anything), so it's realy good for me and my Japanese ;)

Don't ask me for describing it more, I'm unable to do it, because all of it are special, well, maybe some were rather boring, but some were pretty good... I should make a list for rewatching ;)

After all I was plnning to write it 11 hours ago, but harukazepanda made a post about Bakanishi's new PV and somehow it was left untouched for some time.

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